The joy and challenges of raising my daughter was only exaggerated with the birth of my son. A spirit so interesting that unlike when I first met my daughter, I didn't really know this soul. The lessons I learned during these seven years are incredibly simple because they are rooted in a singular emotion: Love.
I am not writing this piece to share my lessons because each parent will have their own. I am writing this for would-be or new fathers who are struggling to understand how to make sense of their new title and a league of men they've joined recently.
Fatherhood is not motherhood. Period. Being a father is not remotely close to being a mother. We are not alike: emotionally, physiologically and conceptually. However, regardless of how unprepared and anxiety-riddled you may be, always REMIND yourselves, you are doing this out of LOVE. Don't worry about role models, nature/nurture, preparedness or planning because all life's purpose gets recalibrated when you meet your child for the first time. The struggle is in understanding and accepting the recalibration. The world no longer revolves around you, your desires or ambitions.
Consider yourselves fortunate because as a man living in the modern age, you will be joining an elite group of men who will defy centuries old genetic code and neanderthal cerebral pathways to raise children like never before. You are fortunate because you will be one of the first to decipher how to groom your children in a world where everything works but nothing makes sense. Where you can control everything around you with a touch of a button, but you are truly not in control. Where your impact of influence is tested outside the social networking apps and where addiction begins right at home in front of your eyes and on your fingertips.
So if you need to prepare, then plan for the long game. Think 20 years ahead of where your child is at present. Why? Because that insight will determine how you envision the world around you to be and as a father there is a strong probability that you are right. That is Fatherhood.
Sit back, buckle up and enjoy the ride.
Welcome to Fatherhood.
